Weight rant (because I’m a chick, that’s why)

Ok, I’m pretty OK with my weight.  After battling with bulimia I must say that I am pretty well adjusted, in that me and my at least 8lbs overweight self just donned a tank and booty shorts for tennis.  I try to focus on the positive, which is the fact that at least 4.2 of the “extra” lbs are boobs and booty, which happen to be the first 4.2 lbs that I lose whenever I am at my “ideal weight”.  That said, Puhleae let me have this rant. 

To the super skinny girl with JUST as many kiddos as me, whom plays tennis with me every Wed/Thurs.:  Um, Did you lose a lb a freakin day after you had your child?  You eat as much as me, stress as much as me, and thusly drink as much as me.  Why are you so freakin skinny and hott???  Maybe it’s genetics?  I get that, but why is your sister slightly less skinny and hott as you?  AND, moreover, why (OH, Dear GOD whyyyyyyy) must I sweat for 2 hrs to look like you, only to know in my mind that you have just burned as many calories as me?  Sometimes life is not fair.

To the SUPA HOTT girl I play tennis with every Thurs/Wed who has as many kiddos as me AND weighs as much as I do AND is shorter that me AND carries her weight in “all the right places”:  Why do you mock me with your hawtness? betch.

Lastly, to my BFFEAA since 2nd grade (who I play tennis, blah, blah, blah), why have you always, even through the “freshman 15” maintained a waist to hip ratio of: perfectness:  It is simply not natural to have flawless skin, be a size zero, have a D cup, have a smokin hot ass nice bum, be the sweetest person literally on the face of the earth, AND? be a lawyer who is not only semi-ethical, but also a bad-ass!?!  I love you, but seriously? you’re making me look bad.

I hate tennis.  I quit.

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