Um, not so much.

I am becoming a stronger person, learning to live in the moment, and trying to focus on the present and all of the good things the present holds.  But, then sometimes my ego gets the best of me and I have to complain, if now was one of those moments I would probably mention some of the things that have been bothering me lately, some of my pet peeves if you will…

They might sound something like this:

Dude, please don’t prove how fast your car can go from 0-60 in order to pull out in front of me, only to then drive so effin slow that I am late (again) to work.  It’s really unpleasant and I am getting lightheaded from all the deep breaths that I am required to take to ensure that I don’t cuss someone out at work.

Honey, I know that you are jealous that I am out with my girlfriends and you are stuck with your lame hubby and his friends, and I also know that you are ashamed of what you wore out of the house just as much as I am ashamed for you, but you can’t be mad at me for looking fab and you can’t be mad at your hubby and his friends for checking me out.  Go home, change, fix yourself up…and then, if you still want to whisper (not-so-quietly) about someone, try bitching at your hubby, it’s not my fault I’m fab!  Um, I can teach you, but I’ll have to charge.

Dear lady that parked in the handicapped parking space b/c she is heavy and for some reason thinks that makes her handicapped,

We all saw that the trash can was right next to the handicapped parking spot that you parked in.  We also saw you pull out, stop, and then ball up about a gazillion sheets of paper and throw it on the ground.  I’m also glad that you saw me walk withing 2 inches of you, pick it up, and put it in the trash.  The force that I used to deflect you laser beam stares helped me burn an addition 5 calories.  Looks like I’ll be parking in the normal peoples spaces…thanks litterbug!

Lastly, on another traffic note, signs that say “Keep Moving” are typically there for a reason.  For those that may be unclear, Keep moving means that you should stay in a continuous state of moving.  I know it’s a little hard to wrap you brain around, and hell, you can even slow a bit just to make yourself feel better, but in Jesus’ Holy name!  PLEASE KEEP MOVING!!!!!


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